Saying goodbye.

It’s such a hard thing to say goodbye to someone you love.  To someone that has been with you for your entire life.  Your favorite Aunt.  Who was at your house every single Christmas when you were little.  Helping you put together your new toys, and helping you put on that horrible blue eye shadow that you just HAD to have when you were 6.  The one that would always be there with open arms and no judgement when you needed something.  The one that would laugh so hard she’d cry…then pee her pants.  The one that loved practical jokes & Halloween.  Who was the one to introduce you to songs like, “In the Jungle, the mighty Jungle”, and would dance around in her living room with you while you both sang “Ooga Ooga Ooga Chaka” at the top of your lungs.  That worried about you ALMOST as much as Grandma did.  The one that came running into the hospital waiting room crying when you were in High School after a Cheerleading accident because she thought you were the one that had been hurt.  The one that was always so much fun, and always had a cure for boredom.  The one that when you told her a story, she would quickly bob her head up and down in a “yes” motion as she tilted her head back, so you knew she understood what you meant as you talked…funnily enough, I think that’s what I miss most.  Her little “yes” head bob she always did.

Aunt Tam passed away the morning before her 49th Birthday in the ICU at the University of Utah Hospital in Salt Lake.  She had spent the last weeks of her life fighting like crazy!  She fought as hard as any of us had ever seen, to try and overcome this auto-immune disorder they had diagnosed her with.  Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome or Hughes Syndrome (Also called “Sticky Blood” syndrome) was something we had never heard about until the end of February.  The ICU nurses loved Aunt Tam.  They said she was an amazing patient.  They even re-arranged her room so that she could look out the window to the beautiful Wasatch hill- side from her bed, and to watch the sunrise.  We are so grateful for those amazing nurses who took such great care of her when she was there.  And also for what great care they took of us!  They did everything they could, and they are truly special people.  I am forever grateful to them.

I don’t know how to say goodbye to Aunt Tammy, but I know it’s only temporary.  I will see her again some day, and I’m comforted knowing that Grandma & her baby boy Brian were there to greet her on the other side when she passed.  I’m thankful that I got to be with her and to tell her how much I loved her, and to feel her squeeze my hand to tell me the same.  Yesterday I noticed that the very first flower that bloomed in my yard was this beautiful purple Hyacinth.  One of Aunt Tam’s favorite colors was purple.  Maybe this is her saying goodbye…for now.


Tamara Calder Pummell: March 13, 1963 – March 12, 2012

This one’s for you Aunt Tam.  I love and miss you already.

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  • Amelia - April 4, 2012 - 10:34 am

    Lacy, thank you for sharing this. It reminded me tone grateful everyday for those we love. I’m so sorry for your loss, and will blow kisses your way in hopes that you feel comforted. Good vibes and love from Vegas.ReplyCancel

  • Jen - April 9, 2012 - 7:35 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your beautiful words are a wonderful tribute to your Aunt. Sending prayers for you and your family.ReplyCancel

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